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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Work or Stay Home -- The "Debate"

My opinion on this debate is that I don't get the "debate" part.  I honestly can't see why women judge other women because they've chosen to stay home or work. There are women who think that stay-at-home moms are incompetent and stay home because they have no choice. They think they have no real skills or that their career doesn't pay enough to even work.  And then there are women who think working moms are horrible parents who leave their children in the care of others just so they can make a buck.  Or that they HAVE to leave their children in the care of others to make a buck to make ends meet.  While some of this may be true of some women (and who are we to judge them for that?), the bottom line is most women choose what works best for them and their family.

Let's use me as an example.  I work.  Full time.  Out of the home.  I'm a high school teacher.  I do something I love every day in addition to the amazing life of parenthood.  I remember when I first had my daughter, I mentioned that I "had" to go back to work.  While I have no idea how I went back to work after six weeks (and probably won't ever do that again so soon! -- I was obviously crazy), my statement was a bit misleading.  I didn't have to return to the work life.  Granted our way of life would definitely change if I were to choose to be a stay-at-home mom, but I went back to work because I love what I do (if you follow my family blog, then you know how I feel about my career).  I love the feeling my work gives me.  I love the structure of schedules and procedures and the ability to create and share an atmosphere of my own in the walls of my classroom.  I love that God has placed me in a career where I feel like I have 125 more "children."  While for some, the thought of having 125 kids isn't all that pleasant, for me, it's wonderful.  Always easy?  Of course not.  Always a learning experience?  Absolutely.  I get to love and teach and help mold these kids every day who all have different personalities and make me smile and even teach me little things about life.  And then my co-workers?  I'm surrounded by hard-working, dedicated, good-hearted people.  My career just happens to give me holiday breaks, summers off, and even a spring break to spend more time with my loved ones.  I feel like I've been blessed with the very best job for me.  In addition, it has taught me so much about parenting.  Every day I see the impact of patience and understanding...and even the importance of routines and expectations.  I'm a better parent to my daughter because of what I do.  And as far as the time I'm away from her, it makes our time together even more special. I love it.

Am I saying that I'll never stay home?  Of course not.  I don't know what the rest of God's plans are for me. I just know that right now he's given me this life.   I'm getting up every day to go do something that brings me so much satisfaction and then coming home every day to a family I love more than life itself. 

Now while all that I just said may sound like a big commercial for working moms or teacher moms or whatever some may choose to pull out of that, it was really an advocate for one thing:  happiness.  If staying at home with your little ones gives you this amazing joy, then DO IT.  And don't apologize for it.  There's one thing I'm sure of, and it's what your child will want from birth to when they're an adult:  A HAPPY MOM.  And you have the power to give that to them. 

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